Anxious

Our transfer on September 18th went well. I tested for two days on hpts and got my first ever so faint positive line on Friday at 3pm, just 6 days after our transfer. This is the soonest I have got a positive hpt. It is so funny how as surrogates, we obsess over these things. And of course one test is just not enough, you must pee and then pee some more until the lines on the test get darker. Once they are good enough and you are thinking "OMG, I am really pregnant!" you must go get a digital so it can tell you itself. Nothing like the word "pregnant" to reassure you.

Tomorrow is our beta, another thing to obsess over. It seems with IVF there are often chemical pregnancies, which I am not so sure exactly what they mean. The original beta doesn't properly double after a series of labs that are taken and it is determined the pregnancy is not viable. On the surrogacy board that I participate in, there seem to be quite a few of these going on. It is sad to see this happen to these ladies, they are all jazzed by the + hpt and then comes the low beta which prepares them for the bad news that it is not a viable pregnancy.

Right now I am a little nervous, I am naturally a worry wart and keep thinking "What if my number is low?" At this point a low beta for me would be a very bad thing since I have been getting +hpt for a week now. But then again, I have been increasingly getting more nauseous which tells me it is going to be okay. Tomorrow is one of my IF's birthday, a great number would be the best present!

Today we got a break in the weather, after 5 days of high heat I woke up to rain. At first I was a little confused at what the noise was, it almost sounded like our heater or a/c running. As I got closer to the bathroom I could hear what was clearly rain falling, coming from the open window. The thunder and lightning is always something I look forward to, I just love it!

It is 8:55pm and the yawning has already begun. The past three days I have not been able to stay up past 9:30. It looks like it is about that time to turn on my new favorite show, Criminal Minds and fall asleep part way through it. Goodnight!