Last night was the start of my new class, Cultural Diversity Issues in Criminal Justice. The instructor for this coure is a hoot!! He has a great sense of humor and has a lot of experience to share. I love that the instructors for these classes always have stories to share. My first impression was that he seemed rather uptight, before class started he stood at the podium and didn't say anything. He had this serious look on his face, and I was sure that he was going to be this uptight, no nonsense kind of instructor. First impressions can be VERY deceiving!
So often we go through life, making assumptions from the limited information that we are given about people and situations. We can be so quick to judge or assume based on what we perceive something to be, versus what it really is.
Thursday, September 15, 2011
Sunday, July 31, 2011
Wasted...
1993-1998
Five years of my life I will never get back or have a chance to do over. I graduated high school in June of 1993, one month after I met him. Looking back on it there were many warning signs of the abuse to come, but I had no idea. I spent quite a bit of those years in my own private hell. Always making it look a little better than it really was. My self-esteem had hit an all time low and maybe he was right...nobody else would love me like he did. Looking back on it he was right, I was better than that and no other man would treat me that way. I deserved better.
There was a point in time within those five years that I didn't understand how my family could turn their back on me...I get it now. It hurts too much to watch someone you love make a choice to be taken advantage of and abused, knowing it will just end in heartache and physical pain. I thought marrying him was the answer, you know it would make everything all better and then my family would have to accept him...right? Nope, my sister didn't even want to be a part of my wedding...I totally understand now, Tina, and I know it was not easy for you to do, I love you! To tell you the truth, on the drive up to our wedding chapel I kept fighting off the urge to turn around and drive back home because I had changed my mind. Deep down I knew it wasn't the answer to all my problems, but again I didn't listen. The marriage only lasted a year and a half, most of the time was spent living apart.
I wont go into the details of it all, but I finally wised up.
I can hardly express how it actually felt when I realized I was DONE! It was something I had never knew before and man did it feel good. I could get dressed up nicely and put make-up on without being a whore...something I could never do before without accusations of infidelity flying my way. I was finally free!! It didn't matter that me and my son had to live at my grandmother's house, we were safe and loved by our family.
It still baffles me how much time me and the mother of his other children spent fighting over him. He was no prize, that is for sure. The only thing I can chalk it up to was how young we both were; she was pregnant at 15 and me at 17. By our bad choice in men, we were brought together as friends. We went to each others weddings, we spend the kids birthdays together and even a country concert here and there. She is one of the strongest women I know and just a great friend to all!
Here are some of the signs of domestic abuse or domestic violence I received from helpguide.org:
"Domestic abuse, also known as spousal abuse, occurs when one person in an intimate relationship or marriage tries to dominate and control the other person. Domestic abuse that includes physical violence is called domestic violence.
Domestic violence and abuse are used for one purpose and one purpose only: to gain and maintain total control over you. An abuser doesn’t “play fair.” Abusers use fear, guilt, shame, and intimidation to wear you down and keep you under his or her thumb. Your abuser may also threaten you, hurt you, or hurt those around you.
Domestic violence and abuse does not discriminate. It happens among heterosexual couples and in same-sex partnerships. It occurs within all age ranges, ethnic backgrounds, and economic levels. And while women are more commonly victimized, men are also abused—especially verbally and emotionally, although sometimes even physically as well. The bottom line is that abusive behavior is never acceptable, whether it’s coming from a man, a woman, a teenager, or an older adult. You deserve to feel valued, respected, and safe."
It has been almost 13 years and I have never looked back. It never could have worked...EVER. And I have no regrets. Thinking back on everything maybe I would have done things a little differently, maybe I would have gotten out sooner. From this craziness that was our relationship we have an amazing son...he is unlike any other teenager I know. He is funny, respectful (for the most part, I mean come on he is a mouthy teenager)he is loving, compassionate and his little brothers look up to him. Out of all the things wrong with our relationship, he was the one thing we did right.
I wish the re-telling of my experience was enough to make a certain someone going through a similar situtaion aware of their own greatness and that they deserve more in life. You must find the strength to realize your own worth and how great you truly are, I believe in you!
Five years of my life I will never get back or have a chance to do over. I graduated high school in June of 1993, one month after I met him. Looking back on it there were many warning signs of the abuse to come, but I had no idea. I spent quite a bit of those years in my own private hell. Always making it look a little better than it really was. My self-esteem had hit an all time low and maybe he was right...nobody else would love me like he did. Looking back on it he was right, I was better than that and no other man would treat me that way. I deserved better.
There was a point in time within those five years that I didn't understand how my family could turn their back on me...I get it now. It hurts too much to watch someone you love make a choice to be taken advantage of and abused, knowing it will just end in heartache and physical pain. I thought marrying him was the answer, you know it would make everything all better and then my family would have to accept him...right? Nope, my sister didn't even want to be a part of my wedding...I totally understand now, Tina, and I know it was not easy for you to do, I love you! To tell you the truth, on the drive up to our wedding chapel I kept fighting off the urge to turn around and drive back home because I had changed my mind. Deep down I knew it wasn't the answer to all my problems, but again I didn't listen. The marriage only lasted a year and a half, most of the time was spent living apart.
I wont go into the details of it all, but I finally wised up.
I can hardly express how it actually felt when I realized I was DONE! It was something I had never knew before and man did it feel good. I could get dressed up nicely and put make-up on without being a whore...something I could never do before without accusations of infidelity flying my way. I was finally free!! It didn't matter that me and my son had to live at my grandmother's house, we were safe and loved by our family.
It still baffles me how much time me and the mother of his other children spent fighting over him. He was no prize, that is for sure. The only thing I can chalk it up to was how young we both were; she was pregnant at 15 and me at 17. By our bad choice in men, we were brought together as friends. We went to each others weddings, we spend the kids birthdays together and even a country concert here and there. She is one of the strongest women I know and just a great friend to all!
Here are some of the signs of domestic abuse or domestic violence I received from helpguide.org:
"Domestic abuse, also known as spousal abuse, occurs when one person in an intimate relationship or marriage tries to dominate and control the other person. Domestic abuse that includes physical violence is called domestic violence.
Domestic violence and abuse are used for one purpose and one purpose only: to gain and maintain total control over you. An abuser doesn’t “play fair.” Abusers use fear, guilt, shame, and intimidation to wear you down and keep you under his or her thumb. Your abuser may also threaten you, hurt you, or hurt those around you.
Domestic violence and abuse does not discriminate. It happens among heterosexual couples and in same-sex partnerships. It occurs within all age ranges, ethnic backgrounds, and economic levels. And while women are more commonly victimized, men are also abused—especially verbally and emotionally, although sometimes even physically as well. The bottom line is that abusive behavior is never acceptable, whether it’s coming from a man, a woman, a teenager, or an older adult. You deserve to feel valued, respected, and safe."
It has been almost 13 years and I have never looked back. It never could have worked...EVER. And I have no regrets. Thinking back on everything maybe I would have done things a little differently, maybe I would have gotten out sooner. From this craziness that was our relationship we have an amazing son...he is unlike any other teenager I know. He is funny, respectful (for the most part, I mean come on he is a mouthy teenager)he is loving, compassionate and his little brothers look up to him. Out of all the things wrong with our relationship, he was the one thing we did right.
I wish the re-telling of my experience was enough to make a certain someone going through a similar situtaion aware of their own greatness and that they deserve more in life. You must find the strength to realize your own worth and how great you truly are, I believe in you!
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
Decluttering
Now that I have the energy to move around and gets things done, nothing in this house is safe! I am often inspired by articles that I read in some of my favorite magazines and today's inspiration comes from an issue of Women's Day. I used to keep magazines thinking I would go back to them to retreive the information that I felt would be helpful to me, but the truth is the magazines would just start piling up until I eventually threw them out. So, keeping it all here was a better solution to me.
Now more than ever I feel the need to get rid of things that are not useful. Last year me and some of my other family members did a bit of an intervention on my grandma's home while she was away. Grandma is a hoarder, but it wasn't always like that. Knowing this, I am fearful of becoming like grandma someday. Anyway so here are some of the things I got from that article.
Often we have an emotional attachment to things that are just not functional in our lives. There are five main reasons we don't toss things out:
1. "Someone special gave it to me"
For example: When I was 10 and my dad passed away my dad didn't have much to pass down, but what he did have we gratefully accepted as a reminder of him.
The collection of keys he had were one of those things I kept for years, but as I grew older I realized I couldn't keep them forever just because they belonged to him, so I finally parted with them.
It is helpful to keep in mind that our loved one would have wanted us to keep the items that we would get use out of, not things that will sit around and collect dust or clutter up otherwise useful space.
2. "It's irreplaceable"
As a mommy I have been given enormous amounts of priceless art from my little ones. Surely they are all special but there is just no room to keep everything. So I have begun to save the very special ones.
Something that can be done to save these precious pieces of art is to take digital images, that way you can always look back on them.
3. "It reminds us of a specific time in our lives"
A great example here is my wedding dress. We are coming up on our tenth anniversary and I had held on to my wedding dress up until a couple months ago when I added it to the donation pile. I am the mom to three boys so there is just no reason to keep it. Now, had I had a daughter I may have kept it for her. Sometimes giving up things like this make us feel like we are losing a piece of ourselves.
In reality the object is not a part of us, it is just a piece of history, an object taking up space. The memory of that special time is what should be held onto, not the item. I can always look back on my wedding pictures to reflect on that special day.
4. "We might need it"
This one is the hardest for me, you know because I MAY need it someday. What if I did get rid of that item that I needed to keep just in case and found myself needing it a year later? Easy, borrow it from a friend!! Putting it that way makes parting with those items much easier for me.
5. "But it's pretty"
Lets face it, we only have so much room for pretty little knickknacks and they aren't something that we exactly use. I am not sure about others but I know that too much clutter of anything sends me into a little bit of a panic, so that helps me to not collect too many knickknacks, this goes for holiday decorations as well. If you have noticed for the last three years that you have passed up certain decoration during Christmas, it is time to let go of those decorations. Other things that fit in this category could be clothing or anything really. Just be open minded when attempting to rid yourself of things you know you just don't need.
It took quite some time for you to accumulate all these items, so it will take some time to declutter. Giving yourself one week per room should be an ample amount of time if you schedule two-four 2-hour time slots to work on it each week. Going through things can be an emotional time and you can put too much thought into it to the point of not being able to let go of anything. So try not to think about the things that you are going to get rid of, sometimes a friend being there for moral support can help you part with some of the items.
The best thing to do is to build your own decluttering plan that will work for you. Perhaps a week by week table that will show what your plan of attack is. The first thing you will want to do is go for the obvious, you know that area of your house that makes you cringe when you walk into it.
Once you have successfully decluttered, throw yourself a party to give away all those items that someone else may need. Happy decluttering!!
Now more than ever I feel the need to get rid of things that are not useful. Last year me and some of my other family members did a bit of an intervention on my grandma's home while she was away. Grandma is a hoarder, but it wasn't always like that. Knowing this, I am fearful of becoming like grandma someday. Anyway so here are some of the things I got from that article.
Often we have an emotional attachment to things that are just not functional in our lives. There are five main reasons we don't toss things out:
1. "Someone special gave it to me"
For example: When I was 10 and my dad passed away my dad didn't have much to pass down, but what he did have we gratefully accepted as a reminder of him.
The collection of keys he had were one of those things I kept for years, but as I grew older I realized I couldn't keep them forever just because they belonged to him, so I finally parted with them.
It is helpful to keep in mind that our loved one would have wanted us to keep the items that we would get use out of, not things that will sit around and collect dust or clutter up otherwise useful space.
2. "It's irreplaceable"
As a mommy I have been given enormous amounts of priceless art from my little ones. Surely they are all special but there is just no room to keep everything. So I have begun to save the very special ones.
Something that can be done to save these precious pieces of art is to take digital images, that way you can always look back on them.
3. "It reminds us of a specific time in our lives"
A great example here is my wedding dress. We are coming up on our tenth anniversary and I had held on to my wedding dress up until a couple months ago when I added it to the donation pile. I am the mom to three boys so there is just no reason to keep it. Now, had I had a daughter I may have kept it for her. Sometimes giving up things like this make us feel like we are losing a piece of ourselves.
In reality the object is not a part of us, it is just a piece of history, an object taking up space. The memory of that special time is what should be held onto, not the item. I can always look back on my wedding pictures to reflect on that special day.
4. "We might need it"
This one is the hardest for me, you know because I MAY need it someday. What if I did get rid of that item that I needed to keep just in case and found myself needing it a year later? Easy, borrow it from a friend!! Putting it that way makes parting with those items much easier for me.
5. "But it's pretty"
Lets face it, we only have so much room for pretty little knickknacks and they aren't something that we exactly use. I am not sure about others but I know that too much clutter of anything sends me into a little bit of a panic, so that helps me to not collect too many knickknacks, this goes for holiday decorations as well. If you have noticed for the last three years that you have passed up certain decoration during Christmas, it is time to let go of those decorations. Other things that fit in this category could be clothing or anything really. Just be open minded when attempting to rid yourself of things you know you just don't need.
It took quite some time for you to accumulate all these items, so it will take some time to declutter. Giving yourself one week per room should be an ample amount of time if you schedule two-four 2-hour time slots to work on it each week. Going through things can be an emotional time and you can put too much thought into it to the point of not being able to let go of anything. So try not to think about the things that you are going to get rid of, sometimes a friend being there for moral support can help you part with some of the items.
The best thing to do is to build your own decluttering plan that will work for you. Perhaps a week by week table that will show what your plan of attack is. The first thing you will want to do is go for the obvious, you know that area of your house that makes you cringe when you walk into it.
Once you have successfully decluttered, throw yourself a party to give away all those items that someone else may need. Happy decluttering!!
Thursday, June 2, 2011
Birth Story of a Proud Surrogate Mother
As I have said this pregnancy flew by so fast. June 1st I went into the hospital at around 9:30 am. The doctor came in to see where I was at as far as dilation goes, depressingly I was at 1cm long and high. So the decision was to give my cytotec to soften the cervix and hopefully get some contractions going on. They said I may need two doses before anything happened and the doses would be 4 hours apart. Within an hour of the first dose the contractions began and they were about 2 mins apart.
By 2 o'clock I had only progressed to 2cm. That was a bit depressing and I was beginning to think that little miss Shia's birthday would end up being June 2nd. There was lots going on in our room to help pass the time. Through watching some funny breast pump videos I found that laughter eased the pain of the contractions. There were quite a few people in there to keep me entertained. There was my husband, my mom, my cousin Tati came by for a brief visit but didn't stay for the birth, my sister, Mike and Rudy (AKA the daddies)Sara- she was documenting the whole day, Darcy- Mike's mom and Gina- Rudy's sister. The hospital was very great about everyone being there which was not originally the plan, there was only going to be a total of 5 people.
As dinner time rolled around there wasn't much of a change in my cervix, so almost everyone headed out for sushi. That was around the shift change of the nurses. MJ was our first nurse and Cheryl was our second. Right at the end of MJ's shift the contractions seemed to slow a bit. It wasn't until Cheryl took over that the contractions began to pick up and my water bag began to trickle.
It was about that time that I opted for the epidural, the contractions were so strong and at one point one of them lasted for 3 minutes then there was a less than 30 second time period that it started to taper off only to go right back up again for another 2 minutes. That was probably the worst pain I have ever felt during labor. I had my sister call my husband and let them know not to come in until I had the epidural and that I was still only at 2cm so there was no rush. My pain level was so intense I did not want anyone to see me like that. At this time in the room with me was my sister. The anesthesiologist seemed to take forever and of course I really couldn't get a break between contractions during my wait. Right in the middle of all this intense pain my mom came back from tending to my kids. I really felt bad for them to see me in that much pain. At one point the nurse had me sitting up and I felt this hard thump, it was the baby's head dropping. Cheryl checked me and there wasn't much of a change except for the baby's head had decended further into the birth canal.
After the anesthesiologist got there it was still quite some time before I felt any kind of relief from the epidural. My doctor came in right after the anesthesiologist and checked me. He looked back at my sister and told her that she better call them that I was at 7cm. He also said that they better run. I was so surprised that I had dilated so much within minutes! At the same time I was glad that we were almost there because the epidural wasn't completely working just yet. Within 10 minutes she was born. She came into this world at 8:29 on Wednesday June 1, 2011 weighing 6lbs 5oz. After she was all cleaned up from her bath I nursed her and she nursed like a champ! She is such a little angelic looking baby girl I could hold her and stare at her for hours.
It was such an amazing experience and I feel so blessed with our entire surrogacy journey together. Mike and Rudy have been amazing the whole way through as well as their families. Getting to see them interact as a family and the love they all have for one another assures me of all the love this little girl will have throughout her lifetime.
I have been blessed with two wonderful journies and had the pleasure of blessing two sets of parents with their dreams of having a baby. There is just no greater feeling than that.
By 2 o'clock I had only progressed to 2cm. That was a bit depressing and I was beginning to think that little miss Shia's birthday would end up being June 2nd. There was lots going on in our room to help pass the time. Through watching some funny breast pump videos I found that laughter eased the pain of the contractions. There were quite a few people in there to keep me entertained. There was my husband, my mom, my cousin Tati came by for a brief visit but didn't stay for the birth, my sister, Mike and Rudy (AKA the daddies)Sara- she was documenting the whole day, Darcy- Mike's mom and Gina- Rudy's sister. The hospital was very great about everyone being there which was not originally the plan, there was only going to be a total of 5 people.
As dinner time rolled around there wasn't much of a change in my cervix, so almost everyone headed out for sushi. That was around the shift change of the nurses. MJ was our first nurse and Cheryl was our second. Right at the end of MJ's shift the contractions seemed to slow a bit. It wasn't until Cheryl took over that the contractions began to pick up and my water bag began to trickle.
It was about that time that I opted for the epidural, the contractions were so strong and at one point one of them lasted for 3 minutes then there was a less than 30 second time period that it started to taper off only to go right back up again for another 2 minutes. That was probably the worst pain I have ever felt during labor. I had my sister call my husband and let them know not to come in until I had the epidural and that I was still only at 2cm so there was no rush. My pain level was so intense I did not want anyone to see me like that. At this time in the room with me was my sister. The anesthesiologist seemed to take forever and of course I really couldn't get a break between contractions during my wait. Right in the middle of all this intense pain my mom came back from tending to my kids. I really felt bad for them to see me in that much pain. At one point the nurse had me sitting up and I felt this hard thump, it was the baby's head dropping. Cheryl checked me and there wasn't much of a change except for the baby's head had decended further into the birth canal.
After the anesthesiologist got there it was still quite some time before I felt any kind of relief from the epidural. My doctor came in right after the anesthesiologist and checked me. He looked back at my sister and told her that she better call them that I was at 7cm. He also said that they better run. I was so surprised that I had dilated so much within minutes! At the same time I was glad that we were almost there because the epidural wasn't completely working just yet. Within 10 minutes she was born. She came into this world at 8:29 on Wednesday June 1, 2011 weighing 6lbs 5oz. After she was all cleaned up from her bath I nursed her and she nursed like a champ! She is such a little angelic looking baby girl I could hold her and stare at her for hours.
It was such an amazing experience and I feel so blessed with our entire surrogacy journey together. Mike and Rudy have been amazing the whole way through as well as their families. Getting to see them interact as a family and the love they all have for one another assures me of all the love this little girl will have throughout her lifetime.
I have been blessed with two wonderful journies and had the pleasure of blessing two sets of parents with their dreams of having a baby. There is just no greater feeling than that.
Saturday, April 30, 2011
Counting down the weeks
I just cannot believe how quickly this pregnancy is flying by. We are down to less than 6 weeks. Just this past Tuesday we went to court and did the pre-birth order to ensure that Mike and Rudy get put on the birth certificate. My last surrogacy we didn't go to the court hearing, just the lawyers went. So being a part of this one was pretty special. They have done an awesome job on her room and the only thing that they are missing is a baby!
Spring break has come and gone. The first week pretty much sucked! The weather was gloomy and I was so stinkin' sick. Nearly two weeks later and I am still fighting off this cough, but it has improved quite a bit. I still have a few more days of antibiotics and I am hoping to be back to normal. This week the weather was perfect, me and the boys spent time in the sun and playing in the water. Yesterday we went to the Carlsbad Strawberry Company to pick our own strawberries. They have the BEST strawberries ever.
Tonight the boys are spending the night with their cousins so it will just be me and the hubby. He is currently headed back home with a movie for us to watch so I am off!
Spring break has come and gone. The first week pretty much sucked! The weather was gloomy and I was so stinkin' sick. Nearly two weeks later and I am still fighting off this cough, but it has improved quite a bit. I still have a few more days of antibiotics and I am hoping to be back to normal. This week the weather was perfect, me and the boys spent time in the sun and playing in the water. Yesterday we went to the Carlsbad Strawberry Company to pick our own strawberries. They have the BEST strawberries ever.
Tonight the boys are spending the night with their cousins so it will just be me and the hubby. He is currently headed back home with a movie for us to watch so I am off!
Saturday, April 16, 2011
Busy Bees
Our last two weeks have been super busy! Last Friday we went on a weekend trip to Disneyland, three nights in a hotel and 2 days at Disneyland and California Adventure. I have been feeling really great during this pregnancy so I figured it would be no big deal, boy was I wrong. By the first night my feet and knees were killing me!! A nice soak in hot water and a good nights sleep had me ready to go for our next day at California Adventure. That was our first visit to that park. It looked like a lot of fun, I couldn't ride most of those rides. Isaac and I spent a lot of time in Bug's Land. He is not a fan of roller coasters, although he did go on Pirates of the Caribbean, Indiana Jones and Haunted Mansion. He screamed so loud when the lights in the Haunted Mansion elevator went out and the thunder clashed. I felt like mom of the year right there! He was stuck like glue to me the rest of the way through the ride.
The kids were so well behaved those days that we were vacationing, it was awesome! The first night for dinner we headed over to Joe's Crab Shack. That was the most tasty crab I have ever had and the kids meals had a variety of food and a good price. The atmosphere was fun and the staff was friendly. That is definately our new go to place for seafood. While planning our vacation I made a mistake thinking their vacation was a week earlier than it was, so Monday the boys did miss school. Thankfully their testing didn't resume until Tuesday.
Isaac woke up yesterday morning with a sore throat and fever and you could see it in his eyes that he was not feeling good, so he had a rather short week at school. He was feeling better last night so we went to the drive-in movies, it was either sit on the couch and watch a movie that we have already seen or sit in the car and watch Rio and Diary of a Wimpy Kid 2. So we picked up some Panda Express and headed to Santee. Isaac is feeling way better than yesterday, so I am a happy momma.
It's quiet in the house right now, Andrew is with his dad and the two Erics are fishing. Just me and Isaac are here at the house, he is playing a video game and here I sit catching up on my blog and watching Couples Retreat. I have decided to start adding some new stuff to my blog, instead of only writing about what goes on in my life I am also going to add some tips that I get from magazines. This is a great way to pass on useful info and for me to not have to remember where I read things.
In the mail I just received a letter from the middle school welcoming my middle son. Oh my goodness!! I can't believe he is moving on to middle school. It seems as though time goes by so quickly when you are an adult, but as a child you cannot grow up fast enough. I remember wanting to grow up to become an adult, so badly wanting that independence. Not truly knowing what being an adult involved. We never see situations for what they really are, we always see the greener grass side of things.
Things are going great in my pregnancy, we just hit 32 weeks. I have an appointment on Monday with the OB and I think he will schedule me to begin my weekly non-stress tests. We also have the perinatologist appointment on May 3rd where she will do the final growth scan on little Shia. Her daddies are getting more excited each day as they await her arrival. They just finished her fairy themed room. They did such an amazing job on it. She has so many people who are waiting for her arrival and ready to give her all the love every baby deserves. I can't wait to watch this couple turn into a family!!
The kids were so well behaved those days that we were vacationing, it was awesome! The first night for dinner we headed over to Joe's Crab Shack. That was the most tasty crab I have ever had and the kids meals had a variety of food and a good price. The atmosphere was fun and the staff was friendly. That is definately our new go to place for seafood. While planning our vacation I made a mistake thinking their vacation was a week earlier than it was, so Monday the boys did miss school. Thankfully their testing didn't resume until Tuesday.
Isaac woke up yesterday morning with a sore throat and fever and you could see it in his eyes that he was not feeling good, so he had a rather short week at school. He was feeling better last night so we went to the drive-in movies, it was either sit on the couch and watch a movie that we have already seen or sit in the car and watch Rio and Diary of a Wimpy Kid 2. So we picked up some Panda Express and headed to Santee. Isaac is feeling way better than yesterday, so I am a happy momma.
It's quiet in the house right now, Andrew is with his dad and the two Erics are fishing. Just me and Isaac are here at the house, he is playing a video game and here I sit catching up on my blog and watching Couples Retreat. I have decided to start adding some new stuff to my blog, instead of only writing about what goes on in my life I am also going to add some tips that I get from magazines. This is a great way to pass on useful info and for me to not have to remember where I read things.
In the mail I just received a letter from the middle school welcoming my middle son. Oh my goodness!! I can't believe he is moving on to middle school. It seems as though time goes by so quickly when you are an adult, but as a child you cannot grow up fast enough. I remember wanting to grow up to become an adult, so badly wanting that independence. Not truly knowing what being an adult involved. We never see situations for what they really are, we always see the greener grass side of things.
Things are going great in my pregnancy, we just hit 32 weeks. I have an appointment on Monday with the OB and I think he will schedule me to begin my weekly non-stress tests. We also have the perinatologist appointment on May 3rd where she will do the final growth scan on little Shia. Her daddies are getting more excited each day as they await her arrival. They just finished her fairy themed room. They did such an amazing job on it. She has so many people who are waiting for her arrival and ready to give her all the love every baby deserves. I can't wait to watch this couple turn into a family!!
Monday, February 7, 2011
Things couldn't be going better right now! Yesterday we had a Super Bowl Party with some friends and family. We love hosting parties and bringing everyone together. I had cousins from each side of the family over at the same time for the first time in my adult life. During the last year we finally reunited with my dad's side of the family. This time we are keeping in contact and doing things together and I am loving it! Just a couple weeks ago we went to see my cousin's band play, they were down from San Francisco for a few shows. Even grandma came out for that one.
I love how easy facebook makes communicating with friends and family. And I love that the communication can happen at any time of the day. Now there is no reason for us to lose contact ever again. I feel so blessed to have such a wonderful family.
My life just got a little busier, but I wouldn't want it any other way. I have decided to go full force with my Mary Kay business. I have been in business since August of 2008 and have just been doing little orders for customers here and there and now I have found myself wanting more! The foundation of the Mary Kay Company was built on faith first, family second and career third. I cannot tell you how many times that I had to call out to work because one of my kids was sick and the guilt trip the boss would lay on me...ugh it made me feel like crap, like I had to choose. I don't miss that at all! I feel so blessed for the Post 911 GI bill which pays my housing allowance while I am attending school, without it I would still have been stuck at that same old job. Now I can focus on school without the stress of that job over my head.
Speaking of school tomorrow night marks week 4/5 of my final math class, woooohooooo!!! Algebra has been a little like torture for me, at one point I cried from the frustration. It is getting a little more tolerable as I have had some help from a very accomodating classmate, thank you Justin!!
This pregnancy is going good. I have made two trips to L&D already. It seems that some things are happening earlier in this pregnancy than my last. The braxton hicks started last week, and from what I remember they hadn't started until I was over 30 weeks in my previous pregnancies. And then of course the lovely leaking fluid. But when it all comes down to it I would much rather be told that I am peeing on myself than having a leaking bag of waters. For the first time it was actually explained to me why it happens. The nurse said that the amount of progesterone that is produced during pregnancy tends to relax the muscles in the urinary system resulting in the leaky urine. Both trips ended up good, I couldn't ask for more. I have always been one to err on the side of caution. So those two things are out of the way and she moves like crazy so I have not a thing to worry about.
Mike, one of the baby's daddies has picked out the colors for the nursery and has gotten quite a few things for her room already. He has invited me to come take a look once it is all done, so exciting!!!
The other day I was asked the question "How do you carry a baby for nine months and then hand it over to someone else?" I hadn't given it a whole lot of thought until the question was presented to me. First off, babies born to a gestational surrogate have no genetic link, secondly I have no desire to have any more children at this time in my life, and lastly I noticed that there is no attachment to the surrogate babies I have had in my belly. Don't get me wrong, each of them will always have a special place in my heart, but I think there is something about preparing for your own little one to be born versus getting excited watching someone else prepare for the little one you are carrying. Hopefully that made sense to someone other than me.
In Saturday's mail I got pictures of my five year old surro son, Cole. As I was putting his pictures on the wall, I felt so proud that I had helped bring him into this world. I love to share his pictures with family and friends who come over, especially the ones that stood by my side as I went through that journey. They are almost just as excited as I am to watch him grow.
Once little Miss Shia Leighton is born I will be starting a precious moments princess train for her and build on it each birthday. I had started one for Cole, but not a princess one, his is a precious moments animal train. It is my way of acknowledging his birth and I guess it is also my way for him remembering me. There are some people who don't like the idea of surrogacy and some who treat me as if I am the greastest woman on the planet. I try not to care too much about what others think of me either way, so in the end it all kinda balances out. I am just so glad that I have had this opportunity to be a part of making two couples dreams of having a family a reality.
Well it is bedtime in the Alcala home and time for me to tuck my littles in bed.
I love how easy facebook makes communicating with friends and family. And I love that the communication can happen at any time of the day. Now there is no reason for us to lose contact ever again. I feel so blessed to have such a wonderful family.
My life just got a little busier, but I wouldn't want it any other way. I have decided to go full force with my Mary Kay business. I have been in business since August of 2008 and have just been doing little orders for customers here and there and now I have found myself wanting more! The foundation of the Mary Kay Company was built on faith first, family second and career third. I cannot tell you how many times that I had to call out to work because one of my kids was sick and the guilt trip the boss would lay on me...ugh it made me feel like crap, like I had to choose. I don't miss that at all! I feel so blessed for the Post 911 GI bill which pays my housing allowance while I am attending school, without it I would still have been stuck at that same old job. Now I can focus on school without the stress of that job over my head.
Speaking of school tomorrow night marks week 4/5 of my final math class, woooohooooo!!! Algebra has been a little like torture for me, at one point I cried from the frustration. It is getting a little more tolerable as I have had some help from a very accomodating classmate, thank you Justin!!
This pregnancy is going good. I have made two trips to L&D already. It seems that some things are happening earlier in this pregnancy than my last. The braxton hicks started last week, and from what I remember they hadn't started until I was over 30 weeks in my previous pregnancies. And then of course the lovely leaking fluid. But when it all comes down to it I would much rather be told that I am peeing on myself than having a leaking bag of waters. For the first time it was actually explained to me why it happens. The nurse said that the amount of progesterone that is produced during pregnancy tends to relax the muscles in the urinary system resulting in the leaky urine. Both trips ended up good, I couldn't ask for more. I have always been one to err on the side of caution. So those two things are out of the way and she moves like crazy so I have not a thing to worry about.
Mike, one of the baby's daddies has picked out the colors for the nursery and has gotten quite a few things for her room already. He has invited me to come take a look once it is all done, so exciting!!!
The other day I was asked the question "How do you carry a baby for nine months and then hand it over to someone else?" I hadn't given it a whole lot of thought until the question was presented to me. First off, babies born to a gestational surrogate have no genetic link, secondly I have no desire to have any more children at this time in my life, and lastly I noticed that there is no attachment to the surrogate babies I have had in my belly. Don't get me wrong, each of them will always have a special place in my heart, but I think there is something about preparing for your own little one to be born versus getting excited watching someone else prepare for the little one you are carrying. Hopefully that made sense to someone other than me.
In Saturday's mail I got pictures of my five year old surro son, Cole. As I was putting his pictures on the wall, I felt so proud that I had helped bring him into this world. I love to share his pictures with family and friends who come over, especially the ones that stood by my side as I went through that journey. They are almost just as excited as I am to watch him grow.
Once little Miss Shia Leighton is born I will be starting a precious moments princess train for her and build on it each birthday. I had started one for Cole, but not a princess one, his is a precious moments animal train. It is my way of acknowledging his birth and I guess it is also my way for him remembering me. There are some people who don't like the idea of surrogacy and some who treat me as if I am the greastest woman on the planet. I try not to care too much about what others think of me either way, so in the end it all kinda balances out. I am just so glad that I have had this opportunity to be a part of making two couples dreams of having a family a reality.
Well it is bedtime in the Alcala home and time for me to tuck my littles in bed.
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